Gospel-Shaped Marriage
How can married sinners better show the Gospel? In Gospel-Shaped Marriage, Chad and Emily Van Dixhoorn give grace for sinners to love like saints.
Biblical Foundations
The book begins by providing biblical foundations of a Christian marriage. By showing key scripture texts, the Van Dixhoorn’s guide us to see that the sex and age of your spouse do matter — but what matters most is a real and living faith.
Surprisingly, the book next says that our marriages here will end. But what we have to look forward to is the marriage supper of the Lamb! And because of Jesus, our marriages here on earth can get better and point to the spiritual realities beneath it. It also means that unhappy marriages and the unhappily unmarried can rejoice. We do not have to idolize marriage. Our marriages here are not meaningless, but they are put into perspective by getting this bigger picture of God’s design.
Next, Ephesians 5 is brought to the forefront. From a practical level, submission is for everyone. Knowing your spouse and knowing Scripture are important, but the ultimate point is reverence for Christ our Savior. Submission is, however, a specific command for the wife. The book answers common challenges to this notion, but settles on submission as ultimately having a strong relationship with the Lord. For the husband, love is the key word. Most importantly, as Christ loved the church, it is a sacrificial and sanctifying love. “Mutual love and respect is the secret to a happy marriage.”
What I most found helpful about this book is the way it approaches the difficult realities of marriage with Biblical guidance. 1 Peter 3 says that when a husband is unhelpful or hurtful, the wife can win him with persistently pure and respectful conduct — her character is her beauty. 1 Peter 3 also says that a husband must live with his wife’s weaknesses in an understanding way, honoring her with prayers before the Lord – and coming to Christ with requests should keep him humble.
Parents and Children, Sexual Intimacy and Growth
In regards to parents, marriages must make it a point to leave and cleave. But we must also make room to honor them. When it comes to children, what I most appreciated was how we must remember that marriage has purposes independent of raising children. With 3 young children, I tend to forget this. And while family worship is wonderful, we must also remember to worship simply as husband and wife.
The book ends with a helpful look at sexual intimacy and growth in marriage. Sexual intimacy is a bond in marriage, a way to fill the world with babies, intended for your pleasure, and a way to serve your spouse. Growth in marriage happens in usefulness, in grace, and in years.
Guide Your Marriage in the Gospel
The strength of this book is that it is written together by a husband and wife. Both sides are equally represented, with grace and understanding of themselves and each other. The Van Dixhoorn’s are able to show us what works for them while understanding marriage is not a simple matter.
Discussion questions are included at the back of the book, perfect to go over with your spouse or in a small group community. Theological yet approachable, this book gives Biblical support as well as practical advice for strengthening your marriage. Written with wisdom and warmth, this book will go a great way to guide your marriage in the Gospel.
I received a media copy of Gospel-Shaped Marriage and this is my honest review. Find more of my book reviews and follow Dive In, Dig Deep on Instagram - my account dedicated to Bibles and books to see the beauty of the Bible and the role of reading in the Christian life. To read all of my book reviews and to receive all of the free eBooks I find on the web, subscribe to my free newsletter.