Changing Normal

How can Chinese Christians make reconciliation a reality? In Changing Normal, Jolene Kinser offers invaluable insights to help Chinese Christians overcome cultural barriers to pursuing peace in relationships.

Common Conflicts

Kinser, a white American, opens by sharing her personal journey—one that began when she joined her college’s international student team and later took her to China, Taiwan, and Hong Kong. Over the course of 15 years working in China, 17 years speaking Mandarin, and more than 20 years as a member of a Chinese church in the United States, Kinser’s deep love for the Chinese people has grown through meaningful relationships.

Through her studies and personal experiences, Kinser identifies specific relational conflicts common in Chinese culture. These include the avoidance of direct confrontation, the inability to address issues after an explosive conflict, surface-level harmony that masks deeper issues, intergenerational tensions, and relationships marked by resignation or emotional distance.

Understanding

Part 1 of the book examines why people often feel trapped in conflict. Kinser anchors her text in the need for understanding God’s reconciling and forgiving heart as the foundation for peacemaking.

What I found particularly compelling in Kinser’s writing is her ability to bring cultural issues to light with clarity and compassion. She addresses concepts like “saving face” and explains how the Chinese tendency to avoid the term “sin” (often substituting it with “mistake”) reflects a cultural aversion to shame. Kinser navigates these cultural nuances carefully, always keeping the biblical foundation at the forefront.

Obstacles

Part 2 delves into some of the most challenging obstacles that prevent many people from addressing conflict head-on, such as fear, pride, and a lack of practical tools for reconciliation.

Personally, this book helped me recognize the power of humility, particularly in the act of apologizing. I realized that choosing to lower myself and take responsibility can be a powerful step toward healing.

Testimonies

Part 3 features 31 personal testimonies from Chinese men and women. Their stories powerfully illustrate what God can do when reconciliation is pursued. Kinser emphasizes that reconciliation is not passive—it must be initiated and pursued by both parties in a relationship. It requires mutual effort and willingness to engage.

Reading Changing Normal has inspired me to actively contribute to building a community where sin, grievances, and complaints are not ignored. I want to be someone who chooses to forgive, overlooks offenses, and speaks words that build others up.

Biblical Peacemaking

This book is a vital resource for Chinese church leaders, parents, and both first and second-generation Chinese Christians. It also serves as a valuable tool for anyone seeking to understand the complexities of cross-cultural relationships.

The Chinese cultural context brings unique challenges to biblical peacemaking. It is a beauty worth pursuing, for the glory of God and the good of his church.

I received a media copy of Changing Normal and this is my honest review. Find more of my book reviews and follow Dive In, Dig Deep on Instagram - my account dedicated to Bibles and books to see the beauty of the Bible and the role of reading in the Christian life. To read all of my book reviews and to receive all of the free eBooks I find on the web, subscribe to my free newsletter.